Smarmy Alligator

Politics, pop culture, and self-deprecation

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I’ve been thinking a little bit about jealousy this morning. Specifically, the kind that tends to appear in the twists and turns of a sexual/romantical relationship. Specifically, the kind that tends to appear when you’re not supposed to feel jealous, because you’re not supposed to feel anything at all.

Is the first appearance of jealousy a sign that you’re starting to have real feelings for someone? Or is it just a standard human response, something akin to dogs growling over bones, a base, selfish possessiveness that should be ignored? How can jealousy fit into a relationship that is supposed to be open, uncommitted, unemotional? What do you do with it when it rears its head?

A friend once told me he could never date me because he couldn’t deal with the fact that I’m always “seeing other people.” Jealousy doesn’t often enter into my dating situations; it wouldn’t be fair of me to feel jealous because Boy X is talking to some chick, when I’m over in the corner talking to Boy Y, would it? I think not.

So now that it’s here, suddenly, this jealousy thing, what do I do with it? Where do I put it? Do I pay heed to it, as an indicator of my feelings? Or acknowledge that it’s probably nothing more than that dog growling, and blithely ignore?

And was the FHM quiz right? Am I not a real woman? I’ve been hearing it lately: “You’re not a girl, you don’t act like a girl, you don’t think like a girl.” And then it’s confirmed! By the obviously women-knowledgeable men at FHM! They must know! I’m not a girl. I knew there was something fishy going on.


Written by laura k

March 9, 2004 at 3:49 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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